It’s normal to worry about how people will perceive us, especially when we change a lot. For the longest time, I told myself I was immune to it… but the truth, of course, is that I’m not immune to how people perceive me at all. If I get a negative reaction when I present something I care a great deal about, I feel stressed and my mind can obsess for hours (sometimes days) over it. The stress is not proportionate to the event, and part of the reason for that is the remnants of CPTSD that I am still healing from. Yet, I’m ready – oh, so ready! – to write a different script for myself, one where people’s opinions about me or what I am doing are nothing more than opinions and not a trigger for irrational stress.
Since the start of this year, I have been through some very big changes. Many of these change, I implemented in conscious awareness on the day after my 49th birthday, which coincides with a Pluto-Saturn transit across my inner Planets, as well as my Chiron return.
It started as a weight loss journey, which was also about total mind-body-spirit wellness. Along the way, I picked up a meditation technique that I really enjoy and that is helping me stay committed to caring for my body through proper nutrition. I also rededicated myself to my shamanic path and studies, and started www.wunjowellnes.com, so that I can help others who wish for complete mind-body-spirit transformation.
Last week, I worked with Snake medicine for transformation and shedding the past. This week, I’m working with Jaguar. I’m spending one week meditating with each of the four Spirit Animals of the Munay-Ki medicine wheel. But sometimes, when I journey, other spirits make themselves known too…
During Snake week, I connected with a new Dragon guardian who now felt I was ready to start working together with him. This took me completely by surprise. I had journeyed to meet my spirit animal and all of a sudden this phenomenal creature appears… Sasariel. He refers to himself as a Cosmic Creator Dragon and he is very easy for me to both hear and see in mind’s eye, so it is clear that the Munay-Ki Seer’s Rite combined with regular meditation has shifted something for me. Sasariel has given me an extensive reading list until Saturn goes direct again – A challenge I gladly accept, though I know that other things and projects will have to be put on the back burner in the meantime. When a Dragon volunteers to teach you, you’d be a fool to turn it down!
Last night, I journeyed to connect with the spirit of Jaguar and to seek guidance for my problem with caring about the opinions of others. Jaguar came right up to me and licked my face. We sat in silent together for a while. She acknowledged the second chakra healing I had already done on myself. Then she walked to the outer edge of my internal sacred space, to where some projections were lingering and simply gobbled them up. She turned to me with a smile and said… ‘I eat projections for breakfast.’
I feel her with me this morning, along with Snake and Sasariel, as I continue to move forward from past patterns, projections, people and politics that no longer serve my purpose here on Earth. I understand and accept that people who knew me ten years ago, will not understand that I am a different creature today. That is not my problem. All I need to concern myself with is stepping into my future self so that I can serve the Divine more effectively for the Highest Good.
As part of this service, I wish to begin passing the Munay-Ki Rites on, some time after Saturn goes direct again. Though the Rites were passed on to me with permission to pass on to others in turn, I thought I would ask for a sign from the Laika (lineage holders) the other day. I did this during my morning meditation. I then walked downstairs and accidentally knocked over the frame with my grandmother’s picture. Behind it was nestled the image of the Elder from the Pagan Tarot you see below… It’s only the spitting image of Alberto Villoldo – Something I’d not picked up on when I received this card as part of a three-card oracle that came with my UK Tarot Conference goodie bag last year! I’ll take that as the sign I had asked for!!
I’m in love with my life right now and how it is unfolding. Yes, a lot of it is in a state of flux but internally I am starting to feel strong. I have established trust with myself by taking excellent care of my mind-body-spirit wellness and the inner realms are starting to open up once more in a way they haven’t since I was in my early 30’s. I feel more connected to Earth/Pachamama than ever and I have no fear of breaking with dogma of any kind, trusting fully in my inner guidance and connection with both Great Spirit and the spirits who wish to work with me for the Highest Good.
On some level I have always known that my 50’s were going to be the best time in my life but I didn’t know why. In my 30’s I thought that it would depend on finding the right man. In my 40’s I thought it might be down to having career success. Now I know that all that matters is my personality self being right with the Real Me, and then everything else falls into place.
For a long time, most of my life in fact, I was pushing to achieve things and to manifest my desires. Now I’m learning the lesson of the High Priestess:
‘All that is important comes in quietness and waiting.’
When we listen, Spirit speaks, and when when Spirit speaks in a way that inspires action on our part, our way of moving in the world becomes the Beauty Way.
Love & Light,
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