“To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around.”
― Richie Norton
Sometimes, we meet someone who has a Tower effect on our lives. Every nerve in our body is lit up by their presence and there is nothing we can do about it – even if we happen to be married or in some other form of committed relationship.
While we cannot choose our initial, visceral reaction to the presence of this person, we can choose whether to stay or remove ourselves from their presence. We can also choose how much energy we wish to put into our committed relationship to ensure that it stays on track. Of course, it is also possible that this person has appeared to trigger an awareness that the relationship we are in is not for the Greater Good.
What we need to understand is that falling in love is simply a physiological, hormonal reaction to the stimulus of someone who tickles our nerves this way. We fear it and rightly so because the state ‘being in love’ equals most is psychosis and who not in their right mind can make the right choices? Yet choices must be made and the best choice you can make when you are slightly psychotic is to be as fully present in what is rather than future project your fantasies.
So what do you do when you fall in love with someone who is not your spouse or long-term partner?
Well, what we resist persists. So allow yourself to fall, knowing that the physiological state of ‘being in love’ is temporary. The body can only maintain it for so long before normality sets in and the less energy we invest in blocking the fall, the sooner we can land safely. Most of us can’t afford to flounder in this state too long because life moves on, and at great speed too. We have children to care for, jobs to keep on top of etc.
This is not something I say lightly, there are grave consequences for the choices we make – especially when we have made vows of fidelity to a person.
Apart from our propensity for falling in love based on external stimuli, there is, of course, such a thing as true love and sometimes divine timing prevents us from being together with the One with whom we have sailed across aeons of time. As cruel as it may seem (I have seen this for many of my clients), ‘the One’ sometimes does appear when we are previously engaged.
Souls recognise each other. Years and even decades may pass… The initial rush of hormones abates… and you still have an inner knowing that they are your soul’s other half. You have a joint purpose and a sense of being connected that defies all logic.
What we must remember is that it is always safe to love if we set the intent and choose actions that align us with the Highest Good. Nobody benefits from our feelings of shame and guilt for falling or being in love with someone who isn’t our spouse.
Be honest with yourself about your feelings. Do no harm. Treat your spouse the way you would want to be treated. Pray for things to unfold exactly as God intended it. And as always, especially when the 9 of Swords appears… ‘If you’re nervous, focus on service.’
If it is true love, remember that in the bigger scheme of things, one lifetime is but a speck of dust on the long arch of eternity. Getting it right is paramount for preventing karmic lashback in future lives.